--This marks the tenth update I have written here. It only seems like yesterday when I posted the very first one. And boy, did it suck.

--In observance of this momentous anniversary (your tenth update only happens once, bucko) I am making a decree. From this day forward, Thursdays will be known as Friday Eve. Remember how excited we would all get on Christmas Eve, because the next day was gonna kick much ass? If we only called it 'December 24th' or 'Thursday', it wouldn't have the same effect. This is the first of many history altering decrees I plan to make, so stay tuned. You ain't seen nothing yet.

--I mentioned a few posts back about the Kentucky State Fair being a pretty big deal here. Well, it started today. As I type this, there are mass quantities of beer guts, camaros, and aquanet hair spray descending upon the fair grounds. I hope to have a digital camera when I go, so I can document the occasion in pictures.

One of my favorite things at fairs/carnivals is the ever popular corn dog. It goes along with my theory of the deep fried Twinkie. Both are common edible items, dipped in batter and fried in a vat of molten animal fat. I challenge anyone to come up with a food that would not automatically be better when dipped in batter and fried. I submit that you cannot. When I am there, I will hoist one into the air in for you. "Salut"

--I saw a woman today wearing stirrup pants. What in the hell are these things all about. Do woman secretly fantasize about being baseball players? There is no good reason I can think of for such a hideous piece of clothing. By the time a woman puts a pair on and pulls em up, the stirrups are pulled so tight I think you could play them like a guitar string. And the women wearing these things are not the smallest gals in the world. Maybe it's a comfort thing. That one size fits all deal. Well, they, along with spandex, should be outlawed. You never knew I was a fashion maven, did ya. Well, there's more where that came from.

--I want a tattoo. Nothing to big or hideous, but something. I was thinking about some of those Chinese characters or something on my massive bicep. That would be cool. Hey, maybe I could get the word corn dog tattooed on my arm in Chinese characters. Mmm, corn dogs.

That gets me wondering. Do the Chinese have corn dogs? If the stories are true, they actually have dog dogs stuck on skewers and deep fried. I bet they're not that bad. Hmmm...........



I gotta run. This has to be the lamest update thus far. It can only get better from here, right? Yeah, and I got a bridge in Brooklyn I'll sell ya.

Have a great Friday Eve everyone. Corn dog, out.