In Honor of This, The Holiest of Days................

It's been a while. A long while. But, as they say, the best things come to those who wait. In honor of this national holiday (6-6-6), I thought my newest update would be a top ten list. Sure, everyone these days have a top ten list. But theirs suck. So, I have decided to do this top ten list: Top Ten Women Who I Think Are Hot As HELL! (Get it. Hell. 6-6-6. Whatever).

So, with no further ado, my top ten list:

10. Jamie Presley


Hot, hot, hot. Nothing better than a hot southern girl. With her smokey, sultry voice she could easily find work at one of those 1-900 places. Fried chicken, sweet potato pie, and Jamie Pressly. God bless Dixie Land.


9. Jessica Biel


Quite possibly one of the best all-around bodies I have ever seen. She is sexy, yet seems very "girl next door". In the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, she was about the only redeeming quality. I wouldn't mind taking her to "7th Heaven".


8. Beyonce Knowles


Mmmm. Perfect skin, beautiful almond shaped eyes, and one of the best asses to ever grace god's green earth. She can't sing for shit, and actually it borders on painful to hear her, but that's why there is a mute button.


7. Kate Beckinsale


Super hot. And has been doing quite a few vampire movies lately, which I love. She is very ladylike, and proper. I dig it. She is the modern day Meg Ryan. Naturally beautiful, and a pretty good actress.


6. Stacy Keibler


Legs. Long, lovely legs. So long, they go from her ass to the ground. Anyway, she is pretty smokin'. I don't watch wrestling as much as I used to, but she is a hottie of the highest order. She could wrap those legs around me and....................................


5. Eva Mendes


Esta mamacita es muy caliente! Very sexy latina. It also doesn't hurt that she looks like my all-time favorite adult cinema star, Tori Welles. Eva Mendes is almost trashy hot. She looks equally adept at either acting or stripping. In the name of all that is good and holy, I hope she becomes a stripper and moves to my town.


4. Alyssa Milano


Who's the boss? You are baby. I am your slave. The body of a goddess, hot Italian blood coursing through her veins, and she's a witch!!! Actually, she just plays one on t.v. But this little filly can have my salami any damn time she wants it.


3. Nicole Kidman


I do dig the redheads. Hmmmmm, let's see. Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes. Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes. Nice choice Tom. Scientology not only makes you fucking crazy, it also really impairs your judgment. Hope you enjoy your mutant baby with the Katie "Nowhere Near As Hot As Nicole Kidman" Holmes. Nicole Kidman is sexy, beautiful, classy, and above all else, a redhead.


2. Evangeline Lily


Kate from lost. Not only do I love this show, but I thank the producers for introducing us to such a lovely young lady. And she is the star of a show where she is required to wear as little as possible. She is the modern day Mary Ann. And I am a Mary Ann man, man. God bless you Lost. I hope they never find your asses.


1. Catherine Zeta Jones


Wow. I think she is, hands down, the most beautiful woman IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. Not just beautiful, but sexy. It hurts just to look at her. She is the sun. Do not look directly at her, as you may be seriously injured or blinded. Oh my. I think I'm getting light headed.




There you have it. My top ten hottest women in the world. Notice the operative word being "my". Feel free to express your opinions in the comment section. While there are well over ten hot women in the world, these are, in my humble opinion, the hottest. Let the debate begin.

In closing, here is a quote from Mr. Jeff Kay of the West Virginia Surf Report, in response to his kids wanting him to buy more of something:

"And when they were all gone, they started begging me to buy more. I just shuffled back into the house, opened a Rolling Rock, and farted to the East. That was my answer to their request."

The man's a genius. So long, and happy Satan Day!!!